'Doing' Calm: Exercising Your Calm State for Nervous System Flexibility!

I see how often we can become consumed by being busy, always feeling a need to be in ‘go-mode’ with the many tasks that may or may not require immediate attention. "Doing' is often glorified. This can reach a point where everything seems like a priority, and eventually, a feeling of ‘overwhelm’ starts to emerge. Then, when we attempt to relax, we are flooded with feelings of guilt and assume that because we feel restless, we must be doing something wrong. But what if we simply have a nervous system that needs re-wiring? What if that guilty feeling is not based on an accurate reality?

Just like our bodies need rest days from physical training, our nervous systems also need time to recover and learn how to settle. If we want an efficient sympathetic nervous system (activation), then we need to exercise the parasympathetic nervous system (rest & digest). This blog is about intentionally practising calm, not just waiting for it to happen. When you engage your “calm state” regularly, you help your nervous system become more adaptable and resilient. Let's learn how to DO CALM!

Why “Doing Calm” Matters

Your nervous system is designed to respond to stress (fight, flight, freeze) and to return to calm (rest, digest, restore). This balance is part of what’s called nervous system flexibility — the ability to shift between states based on what’s needed. Without regular calm states, your stress response may persist, even after the threat has passed. Over time, this can lead to increased inflammation, disrupted sleep, weakened immune system function, and impaired memory and emotional regulation.

When discussing ‘practising calm,’ it refers to a state of being that is regulated, aware, and present. It’s a way of engaging your parasympathetic nervous system, the part of your body that helps you rest, digest, and recover, while still being awake and alert.

"Your calm mind is the ultimate weapon against your challenges". — Author unknown

The Role of the Vagus Nerve and Parasympathetic System

The vagus nerve is a key player in the parasympathetic nervous system. It's responsible for turning off the stress response and turning on your rest-and-digest state. Stimulating the vagus nerve can lead to a slower heart rate, deeper breathing, improved digestion, and a sense of emotional safety. When your vagus nerve is well-toned (through regular calm practices), you're more likely to respond to stress with flexibility, not reactivity.

Benefits of Training Your Calm State

✅ Reduces anxiety, irritability, and emotional reactivity

✅ Enhances mood, focus, and decision-making

✅ Improves heart rate variability (HRV) and overall resilience

✅ Supports better digestion, immune function, and sleep

✅ Creates a baseline of safety in the body that supports emotional healing

✅ Helps your body more easily shift gears when it is safe to do so

✅ Helps your body stay grounded in the present moment

✅ Recover more easily from stress

How to “Do” Calm: Practical Exercises

Think of calm not as a feeling to chase, but a skill to practice. Below are some techniques that directly engage your calming systems.

Breath Work

Breathing is one of the fastest ways to affect your nervous system.- Box breathing: Inhale for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4. Repeat 4 cycles.- Extended exhale breathing: Inhale for 4, exhale for 6–8. Longer exhales help activate the parasympathetic system. Humming or chanting: Stimulates the vagus nerve through vibration.

Grounding Techniques

Grounding helps bring your awareness into the present, which signals to your body that it's safe. A key way of communicating to the limbic system (flight or fight) is through the senses (auditory, visual, tactile, etc.) as it doesn't always listen to cognitions (thoughts). Enhancing sensory information can travel directly through the hypothalamus and provide immediate information to ground the amygdala. An example of a grounding exercise: Press your feet into the floor and notice the contact. Hold an object and focus on its temperature and texture. Try the 5-4-3-2-1 method: name 5 things you see, 4 you can feel, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, 1 you taste.

Mindfulness and Body Awareness

Mindfulness isn't about clearing your mind; it's about learning to stay with what is. This is done from an observational method, rather than a blending of over-identification with what we notice. Scan your body from head to toe, noting areas of tension or ease. Name your emotions or sensations without judgment. Use anchor phrases like 'Right now I am noticing...' or 'I am noticing calm for me is.....'. Over-identification is identifying a state as who you are rather than what you are noticing.

Integrating Calm into Your Routine

Small, frequent practice is more effective than occasional long sessions. Try to: Begin and end your day with a calming breath or grounding moment. Pair calming practices with habits (e.g., before meals, after driving)- Use reminders or alarms labelled 'Pause' or 'Reset' to check in with your body

~ Calm Is Not Zoning Out or Sleeping ~

It’s important to know that exercising your calm state is not the same as: Falling asleep, zoning out, or dissociating. You’re not “checking out.” In fact, you’re checking in with your breath, your body, and your environment. Zoning out or dissociating can be a nervous system’s way of coping with overwhelm. While it might feel like relief in the moment, it doesn’t train your system to handle stress in a flexible, resilient way.

Calm is = Grounded, Present, Aware, Softened, (Not Sleepy), & Connected to Your Body, Not Detached from it =)

~ Calm is a Practice, Not a Destination ~

Nervous system flexibility comes from repetition. You don’t wait until you’re overwhelmed to practice calm, just like you don’t wait until race day to train. Over time, your body starts to remember how to come home to safety, and this 'calm muscle' becomes more accessible, even in times of stress.

📝 Reflection Prompt

When do I feel the most calm in my day or week?

What sensations do I notice when I feel safe and relaxed?

What can I try this week to practice calm for 2 minutes at a time?

Amanda

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